Welcome to a newer, simpler, and more effective way of building wonderful relationships. This book is dedicated to everyone who is assaulted daily by painful and ineffectual relationships. Whoever you are, whether you are a college student or a new hire just beginning your career, it is not fun to be involved in relationships that drain your emotional life and characteristically produce more turmoil than satisfaction and disaster than joy.

This book is for all of us who at some time or another had to snatch victory out of the grips of defeat by overcoming the “strangeness” of people in our lives whom we could not understand. If you have ever been or are now in this situation, this book is for you. If you cannot relate to this, this book is really for you. This book is also for everyone who looks at their life and murmurs that “my relationships really don’t make any sense. I just don’t get it.”

Well guess what? A lot of people just don’t get it, especially the ones who think they do.  If you get it, answer me this: Are you the type of person who should encourage other people to become your friend?  Are you good for others?  Are you really a good person to invite into a personal relationship?  Simply put: Should people be in a personal relationship with you?  Will you be good for them, or only good for yourself?  What do you think?  Have you ever thought about it?  If not, you probably already have your answer.

This book is for those of us in the current generation and for the generations who are yet to follow us, even until the end of time. I wrote this book to assist everyone with mastering the hidden influencers that energize relationships. These are the sparks that make or break enriching relationships. These are the sparks that produce the painful or joyful lives we all live. I tip my hat to all of us.  Now let’s get busy and build some great relationships. Let us learn to enjoy relationships that deliver Zest 4 Life.

Welcome to a new adventure. As you begin your journey through this book about finding your Zest 4 Life by building enriching relationships, please understand that it differs from other works about relationships. Naturally I am leaving it to you to live your own life, make your own decisions, and form your own opinions, informed opinions hopefully. For this you need a critical mind, not a mind full of criticism.

This Relationship Book covers many topics from the Levels of Existential Hunger and kinds of Personal Relationships to role of values, Human Activity Systems, organization design, performance, innovation, and professional growth. Hopefully, these discussions will challenge you to raise questions about the problems you sometimes encounter and the results you sometimes experience that produce ill-will in your relationships. 
Everything discussed in this book will never directly criticize any person, place, or thing. The book simply examines the situations and events of life in a style that transforms the in-depth understanding you attain here about your relationships into enriching relationships that add Zest 4 Life and improve performance in the many aspects of your life.

I write this book to encourage you to re-frame your discussions about the nature and substance of your relationships as an argument of deeper significance than commonly understood. I simply want you to think deeper, harder, longer, differently, and more clearly about your relationship issues you think you understand while connecting your hearts and minds more humanely during the process. This is the beginning of the process of becoming fully human.

I wrote this book to challenge you, make you more thoughtful, and entertain you. I raise many topics in a fresh way so that you can have an opportunity to expand your mind about your relationships, not blow your mind.  A few of you will have to illuminate your mind using fresh intellectual wattage. Yes, this book requires you to have your lights on. I do not want you to remain in the dark about your relationships. I can only offer the opportunity to expand your capacities of deep thought about your relationships and your Zest 4 Life. You have to change the bulbs of your intellectual lights once in a while yourself.

I want this book to enable you to escape the dulling world of everyday life by reducing your emotional conflicts and sharpening your intellectual capacities. This is really something, if you are up to it.  Do you grasp the significance of this statement? I designed this book to empower you to advance in the very advanced art of being a potent human being by participating in your relationships more effectively.  I sincerely hope that you are up to it.  Here you will learn about the necessity of behaving as a faithful person who is reasonable.  Faith and Reason are the two Hallmarks of enriching relationships.
Many people slide by, you know.  They do the dance; they weave in and out of situations; they attempt to charm life and become the smooth operators that people sing about in pop culture, and they deceive their followers and fans.  You see these people every day.  They already think that they have it made, that they have just the right education to get them ahead in life.  However, heads do roll and people sooner or later have to confront themselves. Ultimately when the conditions are just right, these people feel the unease of the question that everyone has already asked about themselves a thousand times plus a thousand: How human are they really?

In this current age, “The Age of the Fragmented Rationality” (my term), many people enjoy their lives without a thought as to how much wisdom has evaporated over the last twenty to thirty years.  Many of these people have little idea about how much they are missing out on the substance of the truly human adventure of a full life made possible through the enjoyment of enriching relationships.  In my view, it is a terrible tragedy to be unaware of one’s capacities and skills and potentialities.  It is likewise a terrible tragedy to be so consumed with so much stress for so long that the mind makes a wrong turn in an effort to get out of its own way.

True, every age has its own advantages and disadvantages. Previous ages, however, valued more highly the things that made human life really human.  This included things like morality, ethics, virtue, and oh yes, really thinking well, that is, thinking well below the surface of the merely social conventions of dominant groups or pre-humans.


Human Relationships are the most intense experiences in the life of any human being. They can lead one into a world of great satisfaction or they can lead one into the deepest pits of misery.   For prudent people, however, human relationships produce great experiences that transform life into a genuinely memorable  emotional, intellectual, and spiritual awakening that ignites in human beings the desire to seek their potential.

Copyright © June 26, 2019 Raymond L. Newkirk 

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